One author points out that Satan is the enemy, not the person you’re dealing with! The real battle is against the forces of wickedness (See Ephesians 6:12). Satan wants you to think it’s your battle alone, and act like you’re separate from God. No, ‘The battle is the Lord’s’ (1 Samuel 17:47 NKJV). He’s in it with you. So, what should you do?
1) Pray for the abuser. People who continually hurt others are in bondage to their own sin. While that in no way excuses them, it gives you insight into how to pray for them. God intended these relationships for good, but they’re undermined by alcohol, anger, and other counterfeits satan uses to destroy fellowship and family. Pray for the abuser to become the person God intended.
2) Take a firm stand. You may need group support and a mediator present for an intervention. God’s light can penetrate the deepest darkness with hope, restoration, and reconciliation, and when that happens it’s a quicker path to healing. Nevertheless you need to take a firm stand, and if need be, get others to help you.
3) Ask God, ‘Should I stay or go?’ It would be naïve to suggest that an intervention, sprinkled with prayer, will suddenly change everything. Some people respond to confrontation; some are melted by God’s love. But many remain toxic and abusive, even when confronted in love, forgiven, and drenched in grace. You may need to end the relationship, as difficult as that may be. Remember, it’s not your job to change the person, and it’s not a failure on your part if they don’t change, even when they’re confronted with God’s love and truth.